We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
