So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
