if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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