That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
