Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
