you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
