this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
