Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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