Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
