I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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