accomplished twins. life is a go
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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