I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
