I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
