how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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