I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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