just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize