I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
