i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
