Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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