And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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