Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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