Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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