Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
