I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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