You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
