can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
