i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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