I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
