I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
