getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
