I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
