If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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