Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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