he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I want to be your penis for a week.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
