Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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