She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
