matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
