I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize