Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
