that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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