I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
