Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
