I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize