You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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