tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
