Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
