Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
