He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
