bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
