The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
