go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i out mim tonsoeep
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