We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
