Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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