Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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