carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
