i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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