Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
