Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize