the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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