she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
did i just pee glitter
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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