she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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