This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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