He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
